Shhh, I'm blogging

I think I'm blogging to the choir here, maybe they are so busy reading that they cant sing praises to my writing. Not likely but I will keep the faith so to speak and try again.

I've been thinking that a woman's "purse", "handbag" to my wife, is nothing more then a toolbox and I don't know how they got away with it first, it's way to late for us men to reverse that, but imagine if you could remove all past references to the "handbag", if no one had ever thought of it, if no one had ever carried one, could we make it a "man bag"? If you think about it how much stuff would you carry around if you could? I think that's where the problem lies and how women claimed the idea as their own.

You see women put in just enough stuff, they can modify it to carry more or less depending on the situation, there are some "freak" bags out there, huge luggage like things that they still manage to keep in the "purse" category, as a rule though they do seem to have a code of conduct concerning them.

Men on the other hand would absolutely go above and beyond given the chance to carry around the "stuff" we might need. I would carry a hammer for sure, I have been in a lot of circumstances where a hammer would have been just the right thing at just the right time, "BernzOmatic", hell yeah, many a time I could have used one and did not have one handy, screwdrivers for sure, and on and on. That's the problem, "we", "men" that is do not have the willpower to make it work for us, at that point we are just carrying around a toolbox, we can't scale it down, it's not in our nature.

It's too bad to, so instead we settle for this tiny folding envelope to stuff in our back pockets, I've had hundreds of them, they all end up looking exactly the same after a few months, it doesn't matter if they are made of leather, canvas, whatever, after 2 months they all end up shaped like your ass, and smelling somewhat like where it spends it's time, I never keep money in it, but I do fill it with crap I sometimes need, beside the debit card everything else in there is suspect, the pictures are there because they are supposed to be, not because they have to be, sure I love my kids, I also see them every day and have not forgotten what they look like yet, I have never had to check my wallet pictures to make sure.

Sometimes the wife gets a hold of the wallet, I have never picked up her purse with her right there with me and started perusing through it all the while asking questions about what each and every item is, I'm not insane, I know better, they on the other hand have a need to know what every scrap of paper that you put in there is for. I don't know! I can look in my wallet right now and find shit that I have no idea what it's for or why I would keep it. Believe it or not we can have phone numbers with a woman's name on it and it can be perfectly innocent, it's true. If I had sex or an affair with every woman/girl that has ever given me her phone number I would genuinely be a man of legend.

So, all is right within our universe, woman carry around everything they think they may need, men wish we could. The next time you see a guy with a rubber band around his exploding wallet, tell him to get a purse.

Future Self

I see him now, he looks different, older, I saw him in the mirror this morning I think for the first time. I know now that time travel is possible, I do it every day, the difference is that now I see it for what it is, I am "aging", I am moving through time and as I do it "takes" from me, my DNA is no longer completing the entire replication process and it sucks.

So I'm in a constant state of "unflux", I find myself being undone by living, by getting to the next day I lose a piece of myself that can't return and I have to accept what is left to work with. I knew this was coming, I didn't think it would be so soon though, I thought I had more time. It doesn't matter who it is I'm seeing in the mirror although I do recognize the face, someday someone may read this and understand just what it is I'm trying to say as they too see a older familiar face in their mirror.

All I can do is fine tune myself, engineer an advantage that others may not seek, eat for life, move for life, read to engage and stimulate mental gymnastics, find solace in mind and body and then hold on. Companionship will be "air", without it, death would be closer, faster, more certain, I would strangle in a void of lonesomeness.

I wonder what "future self" thinks about all of this, does he make the right decisions? Is he staring at the stars and sharing his thoughts with his love, is he happy with his progenies and theirs? Everything that I do today works towards that end. I believe I can manipulate parts if not all of that future, there is no destiny that I do not have a part in, nothing predetermined that I can't change to my advantage, my biggest enemy will be human nature, most likely my own, this is where I need help, protection from my own mistakes. I can't think of everything but I do know who can fill in what I miss. Her resume sports 20 years of experience in me, time well served I hope.

Future self does OK.